


The Rekindling

by EllieRose101



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Episode Fix-it, F/M, Season/Series 06
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-13
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2020-08-20 08:50:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20225116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllieRose101/pseuds/EllieRose101
Summary: The story of how Spike and Buffy got back together after she broke things off in 'As You Were.'With some initial resistance, as in canon, Buffy gives in to Spike’s desire to comfort her in a partial episode re-write of ‘Normal Again.’





	1. Chapter 1

One Shot

“You’re not a part of my life!” she stated firmly, for easily the hundredth time.

That did it. He’d only been trying to help – knowing from several decades with Dru how hard hallucinations could sometimes be. “Fine!” he snapped, stomping away before stopping in his tracks to take a breath. _No point in both of us being petulant teenagers_, the rational part of his brain reasoned before the frustrated part ground out a “Bloody hell” and he turned around again to look back into her room.

Buffy had this lost look on her face and tears building in her eyes, ready to drop at any moment. It made him ache. He couldn’t help but let the anger go and walk to her; hold her in his arms until she felt better. Of course she resisted – pushed him away – but he stood firm; wouldn’t let go, even as his touch became increasingly gentle

“Just let me love you,” he pleaded, the words a harsh whisper.

The tears started to fall. It was like a dam breaking – once she started, there was no way to stop – but he held her, and she let him. After a while, she shifted slightly and he lay down on the bed beside her, still with his arms around her. “Buffy, love, you gotta drink up. It’s the only way through this.”

She looked into the mug for a long while, then finally back up at Spike, her voice breaking as she asked, “I gotta learn to deal, right?”

“That’s right,” he agreed, petting her hair. “I know it’s hard.”

“Yeah.” The last of her tears slid down her face. She started to sip, gagged, and then tried again. Mug finally drained, she and Spike fell into an uneasy sleep.

“What the hell?”

Spike opened his eyes to see Xander standing in Buffy’s bedroom doorway. “Oi, mate, keep it down,” he said, looking over at Buffy. “She’s recovering.”

“With you?” asked Xander, incredulous. “Who do you think you are, taking advantage of her at a time like this?”

Spike was about to stand up and really have it out with him when Buffy spoke up and halted them both.

“Xander,” she began, wincing at the sound of her own voice. “Just don’t, okay? I know you won’t understand this, but he’s not taking advantage.”

“Oh yeah?” he said. “And what would you call it?”

She sighed. “He’s… helping. It’s what he does.”

Xander scoffed. “Well, you’re more out of it than we thought.”

“Watch it!” Spike warned.

Buffy put a hand on his arm, her eyes resting on her friend. “Xander, please understand, I’m not under the influence of any demon or whatever now. In fact, I think this is the most clearly I’ve thought in months. Don’t think Spike’s manipulated me in anything. And Spike–” She turned to look deep into his eyes. “I’m sorry that _I_ manipulated _you_. I wanna put this right.”

“Are you sure, pet?” he questioned. “Now?”

“Yeah,” she said, a small smile tugging at her lips. She turned back to Xander. “Spike and I are together.”

Xander’s eyes bugged out. “What? Buffy, you don’t know what you’re saying!”

“No,” she insisted, sounding exhausted. “I mean it.”

Xander’s nostrils flared for a moment before he stomped out of the room like Spike had done earlier that day. “I’m going to see Willow!”

Buffy yawned and leaned closer to Spike.

“No turning back now,” he commented, brain still catching up.

“Good,” said Buffy, pressing her lips to his. “Because I’m _so_ sick of secrets. Thank you, for getting me through this. Through _everything_.”

“It’s the least I could do,” he mumbled.

Buffy shook her head. “It’s a lot.”

Spike was about to kiss her again when Willow appeared at the door. “Hey, Buff… Say, did you happen to drink all that potion I made ya?”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Yes, Willow, I drank it. Feel saner already. Just a bit more sleep and I’ll be right-as-rain Buffy again.”

Willow frowned, glancing not-so subtlety at the empty mug on Buffy’s nightstand. “Well, if you’re sure.”

“I’m sure,” said Buffy. “Could you please shut the door? I really do need to rest.”

“Yeah,” said Willow. “Sure. You, uh... you want Spike to stay with you?”

Buffy had had enough of everyone doubting her for one day. “Of course I do!” she snapped, before reigning in her temper. “I’m sorry, I’m just super tired. I’ll talk to you tomorrow when I’m less grumpy. Please, now, the door?”

Willow shot her best friend one last look of concern, then Spike a look of warning, before leaving the room and closing it as requested.

Buffy groaned. “I’m gonna pay for that outburst tomorrow. Bet there’ll be lots of awkward silent treatment.”

“And I bet I’m gonna be everyone’s favorite person,” said Spike.

“Well,” Buffy resigned herself, “We knew this wasn’t gonna be easy.”

“That’s right, love. But somehow, I’ll make it worth it. You have my word.”

“Oh,” she said, perking up a little, “I like that. Really, though, rest first.”

Spike grinned before cuddling her into himself again and planting a kiss on her forehead. “Yes, Buffy, we can rest.” 


	2. Chapter 2

Meat

_Author Note: This fic is a little under six years old and it has always bugged me. I always liked the premise, but the execution was always lacking. As such, it never really got the interaction it (I) so needed. Recently I asked bewildered to do a little post mortem to tell me what the matter was, and she so easily put her finger on it: yes, the premise is/was fine, but the story had no meat to it. We see Spike’s small change in action (in him going back in the room and not giving up so easily), and the resulting change of heart from Buffy, but we don’t get into how she reached it. I skipped over the important part. My total bad! So, here I am to get inside Buffy’s head and finally – at long bloody last – do the story justice. Please let me know what you think. _

\---

Buffy couldn’t believe she’d done it. Any of it. Saying goodbye to her mom, and dad, and the chance of a normal life even if it wasn’t real; finally accepting Spike, or telling her friends about them. It was massive, and she’d just been so tired. So incredibly exhausted by the memories, and the lies, and the grieving. When Spike held her – finally forced her to just give into his love – it was just too easy to finally break and let it all pour out.

It’d be hard now. When they got up and had to face life properly. They’d already said that. They knew it. Of course they did. It was messy and it would_ be_ messy. Maybe always. And it was terrifying. Because letting him hold her and telling her friends meant it was all real now. There was no going back. There could be no more denying that he didn’t really love her, or that it wasn’t real love, or that he’d get over it.

Spike didn’t get over things. Buffy knew that about him. She always had. What she hadn’t really conceptualized was that she was the same. Hell, she was still screwed up over everything with Angel – which, given that it was all legitimately traumatic, made total sense – but it was… four years ago? Three, depending on when she was counting from: her killing him or him leaving her.

Damn, just thinking about it like that…. She shook her head and looked over at Spike lying next to her, his arms around her waist and legs entwined with hers. She had the urge to stroke his hair but didn’t want to risk waking him. Not yet. She had a lot more thinking to do. There was still so much to process and– wow. She yawned so hard her jaw felt in danger of dislocating. Where even was she?

Exhaustion. Complications.

Buffy looked at Spike – at how contented he seemed, just lying there. Peaceful – and she felt it alongside the complicated exhaustion. The acceptance. The weird relief.

The love.

Now that the big step had been taken and they were out in the open, maybe they could have a chance. They could really be together. Buffy could hold Spike any time she wanted. She could share her room with him. Her bed. Her heart.

Buffy looked at Spike and found herself starting to get excited. Giddily excited, like she’d turned back the clock a couple years and was young again. Like she hadn’t died. Like she might have a future, maybe.

So it was a lot. Trying to think it all through only made the thoughts grow. Buffy gave up on the idea of trying to process them all before breakfast. She stretched, she stroked Spike’s hair, and she smiled when he shifted a little to snuggle around her more tightly.

Apologizing to Willow and Xander would come. All the stuff she still had to figure out with Spike would come. But she had time. All Buffy had done was let Spike in that little bit, and it was suddenly like she had hope again.

His eyelids started to flutter and she leaned her face down, close to his, more than ready to kiss him awake and start her day. Start her whole life again.

Weird how an undead guy could teach her about living.

Everything about Spike was weird, but, yeah, she loved him. She let herself feel it. And then she imagined what it would be like when she told him.

Suddenly, Buffy couldn’t wait at all.

What a difference a day made.


End file.
